Moxie by Shawn Raymond
HUMOR
Actual
Headlines that make you scratch your head.
Headline
#1
Although this is serious legislation, after reading the above
headline on the Morning Call blog ‘Capital Ideas’, I just couldn’t help but
wonder exactly how many student-athletes have sustained injury while visiting
Governor Corbett’s desk!
Evidently enough to enact legislation to protect them.
He’s obviously tough on football coaches (there was no bill
aimed at protecting Joe Paterno’s job, unfortunately!), but I had no idea he
was so rough with students as well.
-FARCE Magazine Editor
Headline #2
Nadia Lockyer's hearing on restraining-order request
is postponed -- ex-lover nowhere to be found
(The above headline is from a California newspaper.
Insert sarcasm in your mind when reading editor’s comment below).
Go ahead and delay that restraining order because,
obviously, if he’s hiding then just the threat of the restraining order is
enough to scare this fellow away. Case dismissed!
FARCE Magazine Editor
KIDS' THOUGHTS ON LIFE
"Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching." -Andrew, Age 9"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." -Rocky, age 9
"Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." -Stephanie, age 8
"Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." -Lamar, age 10
"Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes." -Carrol, age 9
"Never bug a pregnant mom." -Nicholas, age 11
"Don't ever be too full for dessert." -Kelly, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him." -Heather, age 16
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." -Michael, age 14
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." -Joel, age 12
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." -Alyesha, age 13
"Never try to baptize a cat." -Laura, age 13
"Never spit when on a roller coaster." -Scott, age 11
"Never do pranks at a police station." -Sam, age 10
"Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving." -Rob, age 10
"Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do." -Hank, age 12
"Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand." -Molly, age 11
"Listen to your brain. It has lots of information." -Chelsey, age 7
"Stay away from prunes." -Randy, age 9
"Never dare your little brother to paint the family car." -Phillip, age 13
"Forget the cake, go for the icing." -Cynthia, age 8
"Remember the two places you are always welcome-church and Grandma's house." -Joanne, age 11
"When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents." -Matthew, age 12
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