How to get Service
All I needed was a remote control because ours had gotten stepped on and was broken. I held an eight dollar remote in my hand and stood at the counter, but it was Christmas and the store was packed with shoppers and all the sales people were busy.
My wife removed a tape measure from her purse and began to measure the screen of a large plasma television. Immediately, three sales people were beside us.
“Can we help you,” they asked.
My wife smiled as I said, “ Yes, I’d like to buy this remote control.”
The Ladle
couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long
been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and
this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than
met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver
gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well,
I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a
gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy
ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you
were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not
saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if
she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle
by now. Love, Mom."
And just because it's funny...
FARCE Magazine is looking for cartoonists and humorists that would like to see their work published. Contact the editor at farcemagazine@gmail.com.
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