The Odds by Bill Harvey www.BeholdComics.com
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Moxie by Shawn Raymond
POLITICAL COMICS
Moxie Politick by Shawn Raymond 
HUMOR
FARCE News
((AP)) Asocial Press
Lifetime
Supply
(Richland Springs, Texas) 105 year old Pearl Cantrell says
that her secret to longevity is bacon. She swears to have eaten bacon for every
meal since she first grew teeth approximately sometime before the zipper was
invented.
Oscar Meyer has awarded her with a ‘lifetime’ supply of
bacon. Reportedly the retail value of the prize was a whopping $2.59. Says
Oscar Meyer spokesman George Gammon, “We are very surprised she lasted this
long eating so much that really isn’t good for her and find it likely that she
won’t make it past next Tuesday. Still, she’s quite remarkable!”
Says Ms.Cantrell at her celebratory luncheon: “Nom nom nom.”
Star Light,
Star Bright
(Houston)Two
NASA space telescopes have captured what appears to be the most powerful star
explosion ever detected, a cosmic event so luminous that scientists dubbed it
"eye-wateringly bright" despite being 3.6 billion light-years from
Earth.
On
April 27, NASA's Swift Space Telescope and the Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescope
spotted the highest-energy gamma-ray burst (GRB) — an explosion of a massive
star in the last stage of its life — ever before seen.
The
American public has responded to this startling discovery with an emphatic
bored sigh.
Never Know
Who’s Next Door!
(Cleveland) After going missing over ten years ago three
women were found being held captive in a house in suburban Cleveland, Ohio. As
amazing as it is that not one single person in that community knew that Amanda
Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight were imprisoned right there amongst
them during that time, it’s even more amazing that when investigators raided
the home they also found Jimmy Hoffa’s body, Waldo, and a Yeti.
Unfavorability
Poll
(Wyalusing) The results of a recent Facebook survey
conducted by FARCE-A Family Humor Magazine overwhelmingly concludes that
Pennsylvanians would rather be stung by a bee than re-elect current Governor
Tom Corbett.
This result is actually an improvement from a similar poll
conducted in November, 2012 that revealed that most Pennsylvanians would rather
be eviscerated by a rabid badger than re-elect the unpopular Governor and a
poll conducted immediately after the 2012 PA Budget was unveiled by the
Governor revealed that at least one in four PA residents were even taking the
extremist viewpoint of moving to New Jersey rather than re-elect the state’s
top politician.
This newest survey shows a marked improvement in the
Governor’s popularity in the widely influential BSAPID membership (‘Bee Sting
Allergy-Posing-Imminent-Death’) demographic. Reportedly Governor Corbett smiled
when told of this new poll although some witnesses, who talked with us on the
condition of anonymity since they weren’t even in the same city at the time,
say that the Governor’s upper lip was dry and merely stuck to his teeth giving
only the impression of emotion.
This current poll had 3 respondents: 2 non-allergic to bee
stings and 1 bee sting allergic.
Margin of error in percentage points: anyone’s guess.
We are, however, seeking new cartoonists and humor writers to contribute to FARCE. If you have no life, like us, and are interested in sharing your work with the three people (including my mother) that actually read this, then send the editor a query ( or questions if you're out of queries) at farcemagazine@gmail.com.
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