FARCE Magazine is a humor/satire magazine and is to be taken lightly with a glass of wine.
Edition 47
COMICS
HUMOR
FARCE News
((AP)) Asocial Press
By Agamemnon Platypus
Hilary Clinton gave a speech today at a salon in Lower Darby, PA in which she decried the constant dumbing down of America's understanding of why she lost the 2016 Presidential election.
"I'm so disgusted with my treatment by the right-leaning Main Stream Media, like CNN and MSNBC," she said in her signature emotion-eliciting monotone. "After a brief period of showing highlights of my speeches, where I explain how those voters that I insulted on a regular basis inexplicably turned against me without provocation, the Main Stream Media has stopped showing clips of me at all unless I am falling or coughing or saying that Jim Comey stole the election from me while Trump colluded with the Russians, but not the Russians that I had colluded with during my time as Secretary of State and helped facilitate the sale of a large portion of American uranium to our greatest nuclear enemy; and women, perhaps some of you in this salon, were bullied by your misogynistic better-halves into voting for for a heinous, lying, corrupt, scandal laden candidate who would do anything to make a buck."
The former First Lady's remarks were met with resounding applause from all those that adore her as she accepted her speaking fee of $42.15 in cash from the tip jar.
ADVERISEMENT
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
LeBron James is a pretty good basketball player.
UNREPORTED HEADLINES
Cure for Cancer Discovered: Immediately Discarded Because It Was Discovered By Man With White Privilege.
Guns Introduce Legislation to Ban People: Expected to pass.
Bill Cosby in court again. Scores 45 points against undermanned Suns.
Nancy Pelosi Says Something Stupid for the Nine Thousandth Time: Constituents Fawn.
New Teen Challenge: Shout Angrily at Lamps.
Hillary Clinton Dies During Speech at 'Hair Care and Nails Salon' in Lower Darby, PA: Still Collects Speaking Fee.
DISCLAIMER
This issue's contents contain only two true statements.
SECOND DISCLAIMER
The only two true statements in this issue are purely accidental.
