HUMOR
The Speeder
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
The officer took off after the speeder and soon had the car pulled over on the side of the road. Expecting trouble with such a reckless driver, the patrolman approached cautiously.
To his surprise the driver of the offending vehicle was a little old lady, barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel.
"Ma'am," the officer began. "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was just getting her up around 90, I believe, officer," the old lady answered calmly, peering up at him through her bifocals. "Why, what seems to be the problem?"
Shocked, the officer returned her comment, "What seems to be the problem? Why, this is a 35mph zone! That's the problem. Didn't you see the sign?"
"Oh sure," the old lady returned, "That's why I'm driving so fast. I'm just trying to follow it's instruction."
Dumbfounded, the officer was momentarily speechless.
"Just what sign are you talking about, Ma'am?" he asked, when he finally recovered.
Smiling up at the officer, the old lady placed a gentle hand on his wrist and said, "Why, the one that said 'Speed Zone Ahead', of course!"
The officer took off after the speeder and soon had the car pulled over on the side of the road. Expecting trouble with such a reckless driver, the patrolman approached cautiously.
To his surprise the driver of the offending vehicle was a little old lady, barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel."Ma'am," the officer began. "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was just getting her up around 90, I believe, officer," the old lady answered calmly, peering up at him through her bifocals. "Why, what seems to be the problem?"
Shocked, the officer returned her comment, "What seems to be the problem? Why, this is a 35mph zone! That's the problem. Didn't you see the sign?"
"Oh sure," the old lady returned, "That's why I'm driving so fast. I'm just trying to follow it's instruction."
Dumbfounded, the officer was momentarily speechless.
"Just what sign are you talking about, Ma'am?" he asked, when he finally recovered.
Smiling up at the officer, the old lady placed a gentle hand on his wrist and said, "Why, the one that said 'Speed Zone Ahead', of course!"
Advice from Dad
I took my daughters out for a walk one fine morning. After a few quiet minutes of walking, my oldest asked, "Dad, how to birds stay flying in the sky?"
I thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know." I had to admit to myself that I really didn't understand it much at all and half an answer isn't a good answer.
Shortly after my youngest daughter asked, "How does a boat float on the water?"
Once again, I had to reply, "Don’t know about that either."
My oldest looked at me like she was thinking of the easiest possible question in the world to answer and asked, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, even though I thought about just giving them something, anything, to keep them from making me feel like an idiot, I replied, "Sorry. I'm not sure."
The youngest looked at me, obviously puzzled and asked, "Dad, do you mind that we're asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not." I replied, determined to derail this line of questioning. "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Laughter always makes up for ignorance.
FARCE Magazine is looking for non-syndicated comics and written humor material. Interested? Contact the Editor at farcemagazine@gmail.com .
I took my daughters out for a walk one fine morning. After a few quiet minutes of walking, my oldest asked, "Dad, how to birds stay flying in the sky?"
I thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know." I had to admit to myself that I really didn't understand it much at all and half an answer isn't a good answer.
Shortly after my youngest daughter asked, "How does a boat float on the water?"
Once again, I had to reply, "Don’t know about that either."
My oldest looked at me like she was thinking of the easiest possible question in the world to answer and asked, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, even though I thought about just giving them something, anything, to keep them from making me feel like an idiot, I replied, "Sorry. I'm not sure."
The youngest looked at me, obviously puzzled and asked, "Dad, do you mind that we're asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not." I replied, determined to derail this line of questioning. "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Laughter always makes up for ignorance.
FARCE Magazine is looking for non-syndicated comics and written humor material. Interested? Contact the Editor at farcemagazine@gmail.com .
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