Moxie by Shawn Raymond
Moxie POLITICK by Shawn Raymond
Humor
Excuse my French
The Minister's three young daughters sang a chorus in church with each verse sung in a different language. I was impressed by this and, after church, asked them if they were taking those languages in school.
"No," the 7 year old answered. "I only know three other words in French."
"Well," I said, "What are they?"
She smiled and proudly answered, "French Toast, French Poodle, and French Fry!"
FARCE News
From the Asocial Press ((AP))
Former President Fully Recovered
Former President George W. Bush has undergone intense therapy for the past several months to deal with an issue that plagued him throughout his life and was continuously highlighted throughout his 8 year presidency. Through hard work, persistence, and the unerring ability that he demonstrated every day of his 2 terms in office to trudge through any difficulty, he has persevered and conquered this debilitating condition. He can now clearly enunciate and correctly pronounce the word 'nuclear'.
Snooki Delays Run for Presidency
While preparing for an eventual run for the nations highest office Snooki studied the storied presidential career of former President Ronald Reagan for inspiration since he was a Hollywood Star and she is a Hollywood wannabe so they have a lot in common.
After learning the nature of his Star Wars Defense Plan, however, she had a dramatic change of heart and has now scaled back her presidential ambitions.
Says Snookie, "I was surprised to find out that Ronald Reagan's Star Wars Defense Initiative was, in fact, about missiles and not about training Jedi Knights. I just wouldn't feel safe without them in my Secret Service detail."
Obi-Wan Kenobi was unavailable for comment.
The Tweeting Pope
The pope has a Twitter account. Followers of Pope Benedict will be able to read his 140-character messages under his new handle, @pontifex.
So the whole world will be able to receive and understand his messages the Pope's Tweets will be written in Latin, Enochian (reportedly the Angel dialect), and Tongues.
To be Successful, You must Wear the Right Undergarments, says Kobe Bryant.
Kobe Bryant had seen enough.
Another humiliating loss to another bad team Sunday night had the Lakers co-captain ready to take on the whole team if his teammates don't start getting their games — and attitudes — together.
"Put your big-boy pants on," Kobe said with a trace of disgust in his voice. "By that I mean go to Macy's, buy the Kobe Bryant Boxers (action figure included) for $29.99 which will support some third world child who made them, add to my personal fortune, and make you feel just like I do although they might not cause you to play as hard as I do because I am great and you guys are just mediocre. Except Metta (World Peace). He's pretty good."
Kobe Bryant Boxer sales immediately jumped higher than Pau Gasol ever has.
